


Heartbeat

by ComeAlongDoctor



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, First Kiss, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, SuperCorp, supercorp kiss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:29:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22106341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComeAlongDoctor/pseuds/ComeAlongDoctor
Summary: It had been the other woman’s heartbeat. That little jump when Kara entered a room that did Kara in. That had somehow gotten this lie so far and so out of control. Kara couldn’t bear the thought of giving it up- couldn’t bear the thought of that steady rhythm becoming a permanent fixture in her life when Lena found out the truth.So she'd lied for the simplest reason of all, she'd fallen in love with her best friend. And now she was going to lose it all.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 22
Kudos: 169





	1. Super Hearing

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all, this is my first SuperCorp fic and I'm thinking this is going to be more than one chapter. As always I love to hear what y'all think!

Kara had been on her couch all evening, her feet tucked beneath her while she watched some trashy RomCom that Alex had vehemently refused to watch with her when she felt her phone vibrate against her side- Lena’s name popping up on the home screen. 

Lately whenever Lena’s name popped up on her phone screen Kara’s stomach dropped and did a black flip all at the same time. It was an unnerving feeling. The conflict between the butterflies Lena gave Kara and her impending dread were always at war with one another these days.

“Lena hey.” A smile tugged at Kara’s lips, even as her stomach threatened to sink through the floor. 

“Tell me it isn’t true.” 

Kara heard the ice cubes clinking around in Lena’s glass of very expensive scotch across the line. The other woman’s typical drink of choice after a long and stressful day. 

“Wha-what? I mean…huh? What are you talking about” Kara couldn’t help but stutter and rebut with her usual nervous chuckle that Alex had once told her was zero percent convincing. 

This isn’t how she wanted this conversation to go. And this was “the” conversation. Finally. 

She knew it. 

“Please tell me it’s all a lie or some sort of nasty practical joke. That you haven’t been lying to me since the moment we met. Please...”

Kara could hear the desperation in the other woman’s voice. Hear her heartbeat slamming away in her chest. 

Kara had long since filed away the unique sound of Lena's heartbeat alongside the likes of Alex’s and Eliza’s. 

But the sound of Lena’s heartbeat was special....

When Kara was around the brunette’s heartbeat would speed up and jump a beat ever so slightly. Her usual rhythm drumming to a new beat that seemed like it was made for Kara and only Kara. 

In stark contrast, when Supergirl was around the sound of Lena’s heartbeat stayed the same. It never jumped a beat, never changed, never wavered, never sped up. A steady rhythm that hurt Kara every time she focused in on it. 

So, Kara had been selfish. She’d been selfish for so long for one of the simplest reasons of all. She’d fallen in love with her best friend. And she couldn’t bear to lose her when she did the one thing Lena would never forgive her for- admit she’d been lying to her from the word “go”. 

Admit that she was just like all the charlatans that had surrounded the woman her entire life, but worse- because she had wormed her way into Lena’s life, her home, she had gained her trust. And now she was going to lose it. 

It had been the other woman’s heartbeat. That little jump when Kara entered a room that did Kara in. That had somehow gotten this lie so far and so out of control. Kara couldn’t bear the thought of giving it up- couldn’t bear the thought of that steady rhythm becoming a permanent fixture in her life when Lena found out the truth. No more little pitter patters that made Kara feel like she was the luckiest person alive when Lena embraced her with a smile and warmth that the journalist coveted more than anything on this Earth. More than anything on all the planets she’d ever been to. 

Kara- not Supergirl coveted these things. And she had tried so hard to hold onto them. Tried so hard to keep them that she’d lied. Lied to the one person she knew she’d lose forever if she was deceptive. Because if there was one thing Lena hated more than being a Luthor, it was being treated like a Luthor. 

“Kara...?” The other woman’s words came out strangled and laced with sorrow and hurt. 

“This isn’t how I wanted this conversation to go. “Kara murmured quietly. More afraid than she’d ever been. 

Kara had faced aliens and monsters and self-proclaimed gods. But this.... this was way worse. And now it wasn’t even on her own terms anymore. 

“So, it is true.” the response came just as quietly. It wasn’t even a question, just a statement that hung in the air like a five-ton weight Kara had no hope of holding. 

Kara could hear the teardrop that fell on Lena’s expensive pantsuit from all the way across the city. 

Lillian had always told Lena crying was one of the ultimate signs of weakness. 

Never let them see you cry. Then they know they’ve got you. It was a lesson she’d learned early on as a child.

But Lena couldn’t help but cry, tears falling unbidden no matter how much she told herself to bottle all back up inside. She should have never let herself be taken in by these people. Never let herself be taken in by her. Kara was the shining beacon of hope for everyone else, but for Lena it seemed the Super would be her downfall. A Super and a Luthor…. this dance had been done before. Lex had been right all along. 

“I never should have trusted you.” the words came out as a whisper. 

The brunette set her glass down resolutely. Looking over the edge of the balcony she’d been sitting on. It was kinda a long way down.

“I wonder. “Lena mused as she slipped off her expensive heel into the open air. Watching it tumble and fall to the busy street below. 

“Lena what- “

Kara heard the slight rustle of fabric before Lena’s heart rate shot through the roof.

Lena had gone and thrown herself off the fucking balcony. She’d thrown herself off her own damn balcony just to prove a point. 

Kara was Supergirl and she’d been lying from the start. And if she didn’t want to fess up, Lena was going to make her. 

Kara had broken the sound barrier early on in her training. She’d even race Barry a few times and very nearly beat him. Very nearly, but not quite. But not quite wasn’t going to cut it this time. 

This time she gave the fasted man alive a run for his goddamn money. 

Before Kara could really process another thought the CEO was safely in her arms, the warmth of her pressed solidly against the S insignia emblazoned across Kara’s chest, lithe arms wrapped tightly around her neck as the Super touched down gently on the L-Corp balcony. 

“Lena...what were you thinking?”

Kara was almost breathless- not from the flight over, but from the sheer panic and her own heart hammering away in her throat. God, was she going to throw up? She may have to throw up. 

“Put me down Kara.” Lena was desperate to ignore how good it felt to be held in Kara’s arms. How safe she felt pressed against the other woman’s chest. Desperate to ignore her own desire to nuzzle her nose against the blonde woman’s neck and take in the familiar scent of the Super’s shampoo intermingled with her perfume.

“Kara”. She pushed against the insignia on the blonde’s chest insistently. Feeling as if she’d burn if she had to touch the house of El crest again. 

“Put Me Down. Now." 

Kara released the other woman gently, setting her onto her feet and immediately surveying her for damage. Her hesitancy to let the other woman go easily noticeable. 

“What were you thinking Lena? Throwing yourself off the ledge like that? You nearly gave me a heart attack. And I’m not even sure I’m able to have a heart attack!”

“You said you’d always be there for me. Just thought I’d put it to the test. See if you were lying about everything or just this little tidbit.” Lena motioned to Kara up and down in her supersuit to emphasize which "tidbit" she was talking about. 

Lena grabbed a new glass, tossing in a few ice cubes before pouring herself another generous drink from the decanter.

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

Kara didn’t know what to say. She’d always wanted to have this conversation on her own terms. And now it was out of her control, she was on the back foot and didn’t know how to catch up. No amount of super speed was going to help her now. She was, as Alex would say, up shits creek without a paddle. 

“Yes,” the word was barely above a whisper. 

“When? When were you going to tell me Kara? Because you’ve been lying to my face for the past two or three years. What was going to change so drastically that you were finally going to decide to come clean? I had to hear it from Lex of all people. Not you, my best friend in the world. Lex.”

Lena turned her back on the other woman, wrapping her arms around herself and squeezing her eyes shut in an attempt to stave back tears. Her mother’s words echoing in her ears. Only fools and weaklings cry and Luthor’s were neither.

So why did Lena feel like such a fool?

“You befriended me in that cafe. Pushed me outside of my comfort zone and ardently insisted that I try to be something I’m not. To be open and unafraid to let people in. To see the good in people. Try to not let my name define me. But you’ve been lying... this entire time.”

“I’ve meant to tell you so many times.... I didn’t mean for it to get this far. For this.” Kara motioned to the symbol emblazoned on her chest, “to get so far away from me.”

Kara tried to reach for the other woman but let her hand fall away before her fingertips could brush up against Lena’s shirt sleeve. She had no right. No right to seek out comfort in her touch like she usually did. 

“I was selfish.”

The brunette turned on her heels to face Kara, a skeptical eyebrow raised. 

“Selfish? I’m sorry darling but I find that incredibly hard to believe. That a Super, the epitome of selflessness and good could be selfish. Here’s what I think instead,” Lena drained the last of the scotch from her glass before setting it down on her desk, “you never trusted me. You helped me delude myself into thinking that anyone could ever truly see past my name. See me as anything different. All the while probably laughing behind my back with our friends.”

Lena kept stepping closer to the Super with each word pushing at the insignia on Kara’s chest. 

“You’ve made a fool of me. I trusted you, and you’ve made a damn fool of me.” Lena pushed Kara again. The blonde moved with every push to her chest, allowing Lena her frustration and anger. 

“Super hearing.” 

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I have super hearing.”

“I’m well aware of your power set Supergirl”. The way Lena said her name made Kara flinch. It was cold and almost cruel. 

No more Kara, just Supergirl. No more warmth, just formality and simmering rage- everything Kara knew would happen after keeping her secret from her best friend of 3 plus years. 

“I mean I can hear your heartbeat, I mean i’ve.. I’ve been able to hear your heartbeat from the first second we met. Even if you didn’t know it. I’ve kinda of…keyed in on it. But, not in a creepy way. When I say it like that it kinda sounds creepy and stalkerish.” The blonde tripped over her words. It was time for the truth to come out, every bit of the truth. And it was scaring the shit out of her. 

Lena simply stood there, arms protectively wrapped around herself. So, Kara pushed forward, teeth tugging at her bottom lip nervously. It was time to speak as Kara, and maybe just maybe- Lena would hear her. Because this was probably the last shot she was going to get at this. 

“When we first met it was steady around me, your heartbeat I mean-like everyone else’s. But something happened over time.... the more time we spent together. The lunches, game night, movie nights where it was just us, your heart started to sound different-I mean different when you’d see me. I mean not like you were having a heart attack or anything. I feel like you’d know if you were having a heart attack.” 

Kara rambled nervously for a second before trying to get back on track. 

“I mean that it would skip a beat......speed up. When you’d reach for my hand, or smile at me, or give me a hug hello. And for a while I’d convinced myself, I was so sure, that it wasn’t anything special. I said to myself, i’m sure your heart does that for all of our friends.

But it doesn’t... the more I listened the more I was sure.... it doesn’t. Even when you were dating James and he would walk through the door your heart never skipped a beat. Not for him, not for anyone else. No pitter patter, nothing. But when I smiled at you, or surprised you with lunch it would skip a beat.” 

Kara couldn’t help but smile at the thought. 

“Do you know what it sounds like for Supergirl?”

Lena frowned and shook her head no in response to the inquiry. 

“Steady.” Kara looked sad. Teeth worrying at her bottom lip. “It never waivers. Never changes around her. Not like it changes for Kara Danvers. You don’t look at Supergirl the way you look at Kara. Honestly half the time you hate working with her or even being in the same room with her. We do nothing but arguing and more often than not you end up leaving and making some terse remark. We just don’t see eye to eye when I’m her for some reason.” Kara looked hurt at the memory.

“So, I was selfish. I didn’t want to....give up the sound of your heartbeat. The way it jumped when for Kara Danvers.”

Lena’s expression softened slightly as the blonde spoke, some semblance of understanding dawning on her. 

“Because do you know what your heart is doing right now?”

Lena shook her head no again. 

“Nothing special. It’s steady. You can’t separate Kara and Supergirl anymore. You don’t see me the same anymore. It’s one of the reasons I’ve put this conversation off for so long. Because I can’t bear the way you’re looking at me right now. And because I can’t bear the steady beat of your heart against your chest- knowing I’ll probably never heart it stutter around me even a little bit ever again.” 

The sadness on Kara’s face grew deeper, the furrow in her brow ever present. Alex called it the signature Danver’s “crinkle”. Lena had laughed at that and filed it away for later. 

“I’m going to say something now. And I know it probably won’t make any difference. But you deserve to know the truth, every bit of it. No more lies, and no more secrets.” 

Kara took a deep breath, holding it in for a moment before letting it out. Why was this part so much harder than the other bit? So much more terrifying?

“I love you Lena Luthor. I mean I’m in love with you. I think I’ve loved you since the moment I first saw you, that day in your office with Clark.”

Kara began to fidget with her hands, not quite sure what to do with them. “I love how competitive you are at trivia night, and how mad you get when we lose. I love how everyone else sees you in pantsuits, but I get to see you in sweats and that hoodie you stole from me two years ago whenever you stay for movie night. And I love how you make me- Kara Danvers feel valued and important. Just for being regular ol’ human me. You make me feel safe and loved and special. And not because I can lift a plane or fly or stop a bullet. But just because I’m me, and because I make your heart skip a beat. And it’s my fault for being selfish and lying to you because I didn’t want to give that up.” Kara let her words hang heavily in the air before continuing. 

“I love you, and I can never be sorry enough. All I can do is try and fix the damage I’ve done- if you’ll let me. Even if that just means repairing our friendship.” Kara took in a shaky breath, “I’ll take whatever you're willing to give me.” 

“Lena....” Kara slowly reached for Lena’s hand, encouraged when the other woman didn’t immediately pull away. 

Lena allowed Kara to take one of her hands in her own, feeling the small but affectionate squeeze radiate all the way from her palm, up her chest, to settle as a flush against her cheeks. This woman would be her undoing. For good or for bad, she wasn't quite sure yet.

Kara moved slowly, settling the brunettes hand against her own chest- against the insignia that was causing all this chaos between them. Against the insignia that told you everything you needed to know about Kara Danvers and Kara Zor-El. 

She was a super hero. Selfless and brave and kind. And everything that Lena wasn’t. Who was she kidding. A Luthor and a Super was pure insanity. They should never have even been friends- much less whatever it is that Kara is proposing. 

“Lena, please look at me.” Kara covered Lena’s hand with bother of her own, settling it against her heart. 

The request was so earnest and filled with need that the brunette couldn’t help but look up from the house of El Insignia, azure eyes meetings pools of sapphire blue. 

“Can you feel my heart?”

“Yes.” Lena’s answer was so quiet she could barely hear herself speak. Could barely hear herself over her own heartbeat thundering away in her chest. 

“I think it’s trying to escape my chest,” Kara gave a small chuckle, pressing Lena’s hands harder to her chest, still attentive to be gentle. “I wish I could lend you my hearing so you could hear what it’s saying.”

“And what’s it saying?”

“Well first,” Kara held Lean’s hand against her insignia, “it does this little swoop when you’re in the room, “and then it kind of skips a beat, which may or may not be healthy- I’m not sure if it’ll lead to heart problems down the line. On second thought I'm thinking it may actually be possible for me to have a heart attack.” 

Lena gave a small laugh. It felt good to laugh. But she was still so angry. Lena had tried to avoid complex emotions all her life- and now they were swirling around inside her like a tornado and she wasn’t sure how to tame them. 

“And then it does this thing where it kind of stops when you smile like you did just now and I’m pretty sure I may die because your smile may also be a deadly weapon when aimed correctly.”

“Kara, I…”

“You asked me a question once, and I think I came up with the dumbest lie…but I’m ready to give you the real one if you ask again.” Kara shifted on her feet uncomfortably. She’d lied so long about this that telling the truth seemed like a foreign concept.

“And what question is that?”

“What’s my Kryptonite…. ask me again. Me, Kara Danvers, and I’ll tell you the truth.”

Lena took a deep breath, her hands still pressed against Kara’s chest acutely aware of her heart trying to make its escape. 

“Ok. What’s your Kryptonite Kara Danvers?”

“You, Lena Luthor. You are my Kryptonite. Super cliché, I know. But, I think that's a better and far more honest answer than potstickers.” Kara gave the other woman a small smile before continuing. 

“You make me go weak in the knees, and possibly a bit dumb. Or at least that’s what Alex has been saying for the past few years. It may be why we’ve been losing at trivia night here and there. And I know I fucked up but, if you’re willing I’ll spend as long as you’ll let me trying to figure out how to make it up to you.”

Kara let go of Lena gently, allowing the brunette to reclaim her hands if she chose to. Much to Kara’s surprise Lena’s hands remained where they were. 

“I don’t know how to stop being angry at you Kara. And it’s burning a hole in me. It’s burning a hole right through me and I don’t know how to stop it. Times like this I kind of wish I were like my mother or Lex, sociopaths with no emotions just so I didn’t have to feel like this.”

“No, you don’t Lena. I don’t think you’ve ever actually wanted to be anything like your family. Not now. Not ever.” 

Lena sighed heavily, dropping her hands to her sides. “No, you’re right I don’t.”

Kara missed the warmth of the other woman’s hands against her chest almost immediately, quickly fearing it would be the last time she’d feel the other woman’s touch. 

“I’m going to…go.” Kara said hesitantly, stepping towards the balcony. She’d overstayed her welcome and had most likely laid too much at the younger woman’s feet. 

“Can you at least promise not to throw yourself off of anymore building? Please?” Kara paused while Lena considered her question much longer than she would have liked.

“Lena, I will always be there to catch you. I’ll always be there to save you, no matter what. Even if you never want to see me again, I will always be here to protect you from anything and anyone. Because let’s be honest, you get kidnapped like…. once or twice a month…. But please, no more voluntary nosedives off of high places? I don’t think my heart can take it.”

Lena gave a small nod of assent before Kara began to more towards the balcony that Lena had once commented was not an entrance. 

“Kara.” Lena caught the Super by the hand, very narrowly missing catching her by the cape.

“Yeah?” Kara looked down hopefully at Lena’s hand in her own as the other woman gave it a small but insistent tug.

“You’re right…. I do get pretty sour when we lose at game night. But only because Brainy and Alex are such insufferable braggarts.”

“What…?” Kara laughed breathlessly. 

“And I stole your sweatshirt because it smelled like you. And I have to confess-I’ve never been a fan of musicals…but I watch them because you love them and I adore watching you sing along to every word of them. I love the signature Danver’s crinkle when you’re frustrated, and more than anything I love that you’re just plain good, and funny, and earnest and everything a hero should be. Things that I’ll never be.”

Kara felt Lena squeeze her hand, switching her grip to interlace their fingers pulling Kara in closer. 

“I love Kara Danvers, my best friend. I’m in love with Kara Danvers. This amazing woman who has always believed in me and made me feel like I could be the hero of my own story instead of the villain.…..but that’s not all you are. Kara Danvers is only one part of you, you’ve kept this huge part of yourself from me. And you’re right, I don’t know how to reconcile the two just yet.”

Lena tugged Kara a bit closer, slowly moving her free hand to press it firmly against the crest on the other woman’s chest. Supergirl had once attempted to clarify that the emblem was not, in fact, an S. It wasn’t some narcissistic attempt to brand themselves as super people. 

“It means stronger together.” The blond had clarified when Lena had asked during some crisis or another. “Neither of us ever intended for it to stand for anything super or heroic. To us it’s our family crest-the house of El. It’s almost all we have left of home.” 

Lena looked into Kara’s eyes before directing her gaze back to the symbol. Over the last few years she’d loved getting to know Kara. The things she loved and hated, her little idiosyncrasies that all added up to make Kara this person she adored and loved. But now it became painfully clear- she wasn’t sure she ever really knew Kara at all. How could she? 

“I don’t know this you.” Lena emphasized her point, lightly tapping the S emblazoned on Kara’s chest. 

“All I’ve ever done with this version of you is argue and feel less than when I stand next to you. This you, has never made me feel like the hero of my own story. And both of you lied to me for years.”

“I’m still me Lena.” Lena could hear the desperation in Kara’s voice. The earnestness that Lena had always loved so much, but now wasn’t sure she could entirely trust. 

“I know.” Lena whispered, slowly moving her hand from the house of El crest to cup Kara’s cheek. “But, I’m angry Kara. And I don’t know how to stop being angry and hurt.

"I love you…. but I’m angry with you. Both versions of you.”

Kara allowed herself to lean into Lena’s palm, eyes fluttering shut trying to commit this moment to memory. The feeling of Lena’s skin on her own and the way it radiated throughout her entire body, settling low in her belly in a feeling that wasn’t entirely unfamiliar. 

“What can I do to fix this, please tell me what to do….”

“I don’t know.” Lena whispered leaning in slowly, her face only inches away from Kara’s. It was the honest truth. Lena didn’t know how to reconcile the feelings within her. The anger and the hurt raging away like a storm in direct conflict with the yearning and desire she felt for the woman in front of her. 

She’d never been particularly adept at human emotion. She’d always figured that’s kinda what happened when you’re raised by sociopaths. 

Invariably you’re just not that great with emotions when you’re constantly told you’re not supposed to have any. She’d grown up with so many walls built around her, most of them by choice. Then Kara had come into that café three years ago like a bulldozer sporting an adorable sweater vest and little by little she’d chipped away at Lena’s walls with Big Belly burgers, surprise lunches, and movie nights where Lena, admittedly, hated the movies but loved spending all the time that she could with Kara.

And, somewhere along the way she’d fallen in love with her best friend. And her once very limited emotional range had begun to expand. It was surprising, terrifying, and exhilarating all at the same time. 

And all at the same time, she’d been taken in by this amazing group of people, built a family of her choosing far away from the Luthor's. People who had no reason to trust her, and who were rightly skeptical at first. Lena wasn’t naïve. Her last name preceded her into a room long before she arrived. But, Kara had been her champion time and time again. Extolling her virtues to anyone who would listen. Kara had helped her build this incredible family, and somewhere along the way the blond began to feel like home. 

More than her ridiculously expensive apartment, more than L-Corp and her office. More than the cold Luthor Mansion ever would. 

Every time she saw the blond she felt like she was coming home, felt right, like everything in her life was finally falling into place. And all of that. All of those feelings that she’d never felt before but now came to realize she coveted above everything were worth salvaging. She could buy anything in the world, invent anything she could think of, but nothing would ever compare to the feeling of being loved and having a home. 

“Kara look at me,” Lena inched her face forwards until their noses were almost touching and she could feel Kara’s breath on her skin, “I don’t want to lose you. I can’t. But, no more lies, no more half-truths. The only way to fix this- whatever this is….is for me to get to know you again, all of you. To get to know Kara Danvers and Kara Zor-El.”

“No more lies. I promise.” Kara nodded, her nose bumping into Lena’s. It was taking everything she had not to close the gap between them. To finally kiss the woman she’d spent years loving and fantasizing about- but, it wasn’t her call. She didn’t have the right after the mess she’d created. 

If anyone was going to close the gap and change the dynamics of their relationship it had to be Lena. Lena had to make the choice take the steps towards forgiveness after everything Kara had put her through.

If Lena pulled away now, Kara was pretty sure it would take her the rest of her life to collect all the little broken pieces of her heart. Even with super speed. 

“I believe you. But we aren't fixed Kara, we're going to have to work at this. To re-establish trust. And I think I need to learn more about Kara Zor-El. And, that does mean spending more time together, if you'd like. I need to find out if she has the signature crinkle after all."

Kara couldn't help but smile. One of those smiles that make Lena weak in the knees and she could almost feel the storm that raged inside of her begin to quell. 

"So what’s my heartbeat saying now Supergirl?” Lena’s leaned in, her lips grazing Kara’s as she spoke.

“It’s…. it’s really hard to hear past my own right now.”

“Mmmm, so much for super hearing.” Lena smiled before closing the small gap, finally claiming Kara’s lips with her own.

It wasn't a fix, but it was a start.


	2. Gay Handbook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There isn't any type of gay handbook that's gonna tell you what to do when you tell the woman you love that you're an alien, you have a secret identity that you've been hiding for years, oh and that you're super gay for her. It's okay to go at your own pace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one's super short you guys. I wanted to at least post something to keep the story moving and I just had the idea to add a conversation with Alex to the story. Next chapter! Lunch with Lena. 
> 
> Small note- I've always hated that Alex and Maggie broke up so I'm just going to retcon it and keep them together in my story!

Kara has never flown drunk before. I mean, that would just be plain irresponsible. When most teenagers were getting the speech about drunk driving Kara had been pulled aside by Kal-El and given a don’t fly drunk speech. Another completely unique experience of her teenage years. 

“Your judgement would be impaired just like any other persons. But, we aren’t like other people Kara. Other people can’t fly straight through a person at the speed of sound, or take down an entire building when they’re tipsy.”

Kara has listened patiently as Kal-El explained that said person would be dead after she’d flown through them due to her poor judgement and/or a multitude of people would be crushed beneath a mountain of rubble if she flew through a building at Mach whatever. He’d also told her that the Green Lantern who policed Earth’s sector took drunk flying very seriously and would arrest her if she exercised poor judgement.

To this day Kara wasn’t sure if Kal-El had been using a scare tactic or if Hal Jordan really did police that sort of thing. She was pretty sure Hal and the rest of the Corp had better things to do than police drunk flying but that was no reason not to show immaculate judgement when it came to being under the influence. 

Honestly, it was pretty rare that Kara was even capable of getting drunk. There weren’t many things on the planet that were strong enough to get a Kryptonian drunk. But, when she did manage to get intoxicated she would always call Alex to walk or drive her home. 

So why did she feel like she was flying completely intoxicated? Ever since she’d left Lena’s office Kara felt like she’d gone and downed a pint of Naltorian Ale- bubbly and completely off kilter. 

Kara had meant to bank left when she’d severely misjudged the turn and tumbled full speed into an, thankfully, abandoned building. 

“Ah geeze.” Kara stood up, shaking debris out of her cape and patting granite dust off of her suit. Maybe it was best if she walked home from here. With her head in the stratosphere and her stomach doing constant backflips she’d most likely knock down a few more buildings and fly through a few people before she made it back to her apartment. Then Hal really would come and take her to space jail.

A quick scan of the area with her x-ray vision assured Kara she was alone before she chanced slipping on her glasses, allowing her suit to melt away and Supergirl to disappear- leaving Kara Danvers free to walk home and ponder the best way to ask Lena Luthor out on a proper date. A prospect that was, for some reason, more terrifying than flying through a person at Mach 10.

\------------------------------

Kara had been woken up early the next morning by an emergency call from the DEO- apparently a rogue Tamaranian had escape custody and was tearing up downtown. It had taken Kara from around 4 am to 7 am to resolve the issue and get her back into custody. The woman had been difficult to defeat and even more difficult to get into a containment unit once back at the DEO.

Suffice it to say, it had already been a long day. And it wasn’t even 8 am yet.  
Kara left the holding cell area to find Alex in the central hub of the DEO, “I need a nap. And then some potstickers. And then another nap. This has been the longest morning!”

“Sorry little sister. That one’s my bad. We should have contacted Kory and found out that we had Blackfire in holding as opposed to a regular old Tamaranian rogue. Starfire says she a complete pain in the ass and wanted on several planets. I’m trying to set up extradition with her home planet so we can be rid of her.”

“It’s fine. I just had a late night.”

“A late night hmm? Do tell.” Alex’s eyebrow quirked in interest. She’d been dying for Kara to get a life outside of Supergirl, but ever since this debacle with Lena and Kara’s secret identity Kara had retreated more and more into her role as Supergirl. 

Alex had always had some inkling that Kara and Lena were more than best friends. Why else would this hurt Kara so much?

Between the subtle touches, constant fuck me eyes they gave each other, game night sleepovers, and all kinds of other obvious indicators Alex had been so sure the two women would figure it out on their own and get together. 

I mean, come on. Who fills another woman’s office with flowers unless she’s trying to get into her pants? Nobody, that’s who. But it had never happened. In 4 years neither one of them ever made an overt move. It seemed to occur to everyone other than them that they were perfect for one another- they seemed to be completely oblivious. Or just unwilling to make the first move. And goddamn if it wasn’t maddening. 

Honestly Alex figured Kara would tell Lena her secret identity a lot sooner than she had, and then ask the gorgeous woman out on a date. Alex had encouraged her for years to go ahead and spill the beans, figuring that had to be the reason Kara was holding off asking Lena on a date. Not wanting their relationship to be built on a lie. 

But, that’s not how it went down. She’d held out to long, always saying she would tell her when the time was right. And now Alex was watching as Kara’s heart broke, piece by piece as Lena shut her out.

Kara crinkled her brow, seeming to think hard about the details she wanted to reveal. 

“Crinkle.” Alex poked her sister in the forehead. 

“Ow hey!” Kara batted her sisters hand away. “Stop that!”

“Come on, spill.”

“Okay…. I went and spoke with Lena last night.”

“Woah, okay.” Alex hadn’t expected that. Lena had been stonewalling Kara for weeks. No matter what Kara tried to do, no matter what olive branch she extended, the other woman wouldn’t speak to her. She was understandably hurt, but man was she holding onto a grudge. 

“How’d it go?”

“Really really well actually. She kissed me.” Kara blushed, absent mindedly swinging her cape behind her. 

“What wait…” Alex thought she misheard for a moment. Maybe it was time to get her hearing check. She had been hit in the head a lot over the course of her career. “She kissed you?”

“I mean I told her I loved her. She told me she loved me. And then she kissed me. Pretty much all in that order. There was some stuff in between, but that’s the gist of it.”

“I knew it!” Alex pointed at Kara, “Maggie owes me 50 bucks and a bottle of bourbon!”

“Huh?” Kara looked confused.

“I told her you two would get together eventually. I mean sure this is a bet that’s been going on since we got together, but I knew I’d win eventually. Oh man,” Alex dug her phone out of one of the pockets of her suit. 

“Uh, what are you doing Alex.”

“Texting Maggie. I have been waiting to win this bet for years and now I can lord it over her for all of eternity.”

“Wait….” Kara seemed to be putting the pieces together- albeit slowly. “So, you guys knew Lena and I liked each other..and placed bets on us getting together….?”

“Uhhh duh little sister. You two have been making eyes at each other for the last four years and we’ve all been trying to nudge you in that direction. It’s been maddening.”

Kara was pretty sure her blush matched the color of her cape at this point, “I wasn’t exactly oblivious Alex. Just…..terrified I think….”

“Ah shit,” Alex looked at her sister, slipping her phone into her pocket before wrapping her into a tight hug. “I’m proud of you Kara. I know this is all new and terrifying and exciting and I’m so happy for you. I’m so happy you guys are working it out.” Alex gave Kara a gentle squeeze before letting her go. 

“I know you’ve been miserable and heartbroken lately without her.”

“Yeah...I guess I’m just nervous. What if this all blows up in my face?” Kara trailed off, thinking about just how shitty things had been lately without her best friend. What if she fucked this up for good? What if they try to go about repairing this and Kara just makes it worse? What if Lena couldn’t truly love both Kara and Supergirl?

“Kara. No one holds a grudge like she’s been holding a grudge if they don’t care deeply. No one fills a woman’s entire office with flowers if they aren’t trying to say something. No one is as angry as she’s been if they aren’t in madly love. She loves you Kara. I’ve seen it these past few years- and I know you love her. And, now you two are going to have to put in a lot of work to get past this, to re-establish the trust you used to have. It’s not going to be easy or fun, but I promise it’ll be worth it.”

“So, what should I do?”

“Well, what do you normally do on a Tuesday afternoon?”

“Take her lunch because she forgets to eat when she gets super busy with meetings and projects.”

“Then go take the beautiful woman lunch Kara. Re-establish a sense of normalcy. This whole thing doesn’t have to go at any particular pace. There isn’t any type of gay handbook that’s going to tell you what to do when you tell the woman you love that you’re an alien, you have a secret identity that you’ve been hiding for years, oh and that you’re super gay for her. Take it one step at a time little sister. I promise it will be okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is safe and healthy!!!


	3. Pancakes or Waffles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara had seen it in so many television shows, literature, and movies since she’d landed on Earth. That picture-perfect depiction of romance, love, and the ever-popular concept soul mates. The idea that you could fall so deeply in love with someone that suddenly you felt whole and complete for the first time in your life- never even knowing that, prior to that moment, you hadn’t been whole without them. But with Lena Kara felt whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to give this pancakes or waffles idea to a "Cloak and Dagger" episode I watched. I basically built the chapter around it so I've got to give them credit.
> 
> Happy Halloween everyone!!! I hope you're all safe!

Kara clutched a bag of Big Belly Burgers in one hand and a bag from Lena’s favorite salad place in the other. They’d long argued about the merits of green things as food. With Lena emphatically stressing the nutritional value of said green things while enumerating some scientific facts that did nothing to convince Kara.

Lena would constantly laugh in response to Kara’s look of disgust and try to convince the other woman it was good for her.

“No. I’m pretty sure it will kill me. Green things are bad.” Kara nodded to herself, surer than ever that lumping all green things into a sudden death category was the way to go.

Lena had once tried to slip some kale chips past her, innocently claiming it was a new type of delicious salty potato chip- and honestly how was Kara supposed to resists that double dimple smile? Kara had pretty much popped the chip in her mouth without even looking at what it was- so damn distracted by the self-satisfied smile on Lena’s face.

Her tongue had quickly registered her mistake before her brain even had time to catch up- she’d been _hoodwinked!_

Kara had managed to find a napkin to spit the kale into before sputtering that the CEO was attempting to poison her. It was either a napkin or her hand, but that poison was coming out of her mouth.

The next day Kara had arrived at work to find her entire desk covered in bags of all green Sour Patch kids and her drawers shoved full to the brim with them and a tidy apology note in Lena’s very recognizable hand writing.

“Kara my dear,

I’m sorry I tricked you into eating something healthy. How was I to know that your body would immediately reject it and go to DEFCON 1? Please accept my  
sincerest apologies with these green things that I assure you are candy and not kale flavored gummies. I couldn’t actually find those at the store. Oh, and I hope  
you enjoy my drawing of Kale Lady- it appears I’ve finally found something I’m horrid at. Hopefully you can find it in your heart to forgive me- I’m not quite sure  
what I would do without you, and poisoning by kale would be a pretty silly way to end an amazing friendship.

Your best friend and _sometimes_ poisoner,  
Lena Luthor.”

Kara had stifled a giggle as she munched on some gummies. The drawing had been made with heart that was for sure, but Lena was a…. terrible artist. It was of a very sad little kale lady complete with arms, legs, an adorable frown, and poorly squiggled in glasses. Sometimes it was really nice to know that the amazing Lena Luthor wasn’t good at everything.

Kara had folded the note gently and kept it safely tucked away in her wallet, pulling it out whenever she’d had a particularly shitty day. The drawing always made her laugh and Lena’s words- the idea that Lena wouldn’t know what to do without her always made Kara feel like she had a place in the world. On this Earth.

A safe place to land if she ever wanted to be just regular old Kara- not the girl of Steel. Lena had always seen her the way that Lois saw Clark. Despite the glasses and the façade and the lies Lena had truly seen Kara Danvers unlike anyone else had ever seen her. It wasn’t about what she could do for Lena or the insignia on her chest- Lena loved her as Kara.

The Kara that fumbled with her words and made a complete fool of herself around the brunette, the Kara who wanted more than anything to find her place in the world and feel comfortable in her own skin. The Kara who loved doing everything and absolutely nothing with the brunette. The Kara who, above all, wanted to be the Supergirl everyone needed, the one who always saved the day- but also needed a life that was all her own.

Preferably a life that included Lena.

Since the night of Kara’s Pulitzer Lena had completely shut her out. The look of hurt and betrayal on the raven-haired woman’s face had been seared into Kara’s memory forever.

Since then Kara had lost count of the number of times Alex had commented on how miserable she looked. And her friends now walked on eggshells around her, almost as if they were worried the wrong combination of words might crumble the false exterior she’d created to keep herself from falling apart. None of them were idiots- they all knew. Knew that Kara felt things for Lena that ran so much deeper than friendship. They weren’t quite sure if Kara knew it, but they all had working sets of eyeballs.

Kara had always been this amazing bubbly personality that could light up a room. And suddenly that light was gone. Alex had actually been surprised and a little shocked at how good her sister was at lying. Lying to everyone that she wasn’t hurt, lying that her heart wasn’t broken into a million tiny little pieces, lying that she didn’t love Lena Luthor. Kara put on a false pretense everyday- she went to work with a smile on her face and then saved the city like nothing was out of the ordinary. Rinse and repeat.

But Alex saw it. Every time Kara worried at the corner of her bottom lip and looked away to hide the tears in her eyes when Lena’s name was mentioned. Her sister was miserable

And Kara had resolved herself to being miserable. Miserable and sad for the rest of eternity. But instead Lena had gone and thrown herself off her own building and then they’d talked. Talked about the issues that had splintered their friendship into a million jagged little pieces and then…… they’d kissed. It was one way to open a dialogue, that was for sure.

If Kara was being completely honest with herself- which was something she was trying out. Complete and total honesty. She’d had feelings for Lena since they day they’d met. Feelings that had only grown stronger and more acute the more time they’d spent together. The feelings nagged at her more and more with each passing year with a type of longing that she knew would never be fulfilled because Kara would never allow it. She’d buried her feelings for Lena, locked them away in a box and thrown that lockbox into the Themysciran sea. They were best friends, and that was going to have to be enough for her.

Kara had never expected to feel the delicious pressure of Lena’s full lips against her own, the grip of the other woman’s hands on her hips as she tried to tug them impossibly close together.  
After everything that had happened between them Kara never expected the outpouring of love she felt when Lena cradled her cheek in her hand and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips- resting her other hand on the house of El crest with more acceptance than Kara would probably ever deserve.

It had all led to here. All of the feelings of angst, betrayal, and sadness, love and even the beginnings of forgiveness had led here. To Lena’s office door. So why was Kara so damn nervous? Lena was the one person who could make her smile after trying to poison her with a leafy green! When she was around Kara’s heart always took to slamming against its cage- almost as if it was trying to escape and find it’s true owner. Lena made her…. happy.

So why had Kara been standing at Lena’s office door for the past 5 minutes, one hang clutching both bags of food and the other hovering in the air balled up in a fist poised to knock. She’d been still for so long Jess had actually inquired if Kara was okay or if she’d had a mild stroke that had rendered her paralyzed. “Miss Danvers, do I need to call for an ambulance or do you intend to knock?”

“No,” Kara cleared her throat, “sorry, no. Just- daydreaming….”

Kara smoothed out her button down, pulling at the end of the fabric so hard she heard the buttons nearly rip. Fudge, she needed to try and take a breath and calm down before she ended up half naked with no good explanation. At the rate she was going she was about to accidentally put her hand through the very expensive wood of Lena’s office door. Billionaire or not, Kara had a feeling Lena wouldn’t be too happy about a fist through her door.

She could do this damn it. Alex was right, they needed to try and find their way back to some sense of normalcy again. To remind themselves and each other why their friendship had been so special and unique in the first place. Why they’d been so intensely drawn to one another…. before they could try to be something else to each other. But reminder or not, the fact was undeniable- they were trapped in one another’s orbits, both unable and unwilling to escape. Because honest, who in their right mind would run from Lena Luthor? Especially a Lena Luthor who wants you back?

Jess narrowed her eyes at the blond, “Mhmm, daydreaming.” The comment was laced with sarcasm. Jess had watched for years waiting for her boss and the reporter to finally figure out what she’d known all along. The two needed to go out on a date and then jump each other’s bones already. Watching them had become agonizing at this point. She would have started an office pool had she not thought it would get her fired and/or murdered.

Jess didn’t know how many more not-so-subtle hints she could give to her boss that Kara was more than interested and wanted to jump her bones. Wasn’t Lena supposed to be one of the smartest women in the world? Well, for the smartest woman in the world she was a damn fool when it came to Kara Danvers. And how had the smartest woman in the world been hoodwinked by a pair of glasses and a ponytail. Honestly, Jess had never seen a more accurate and startling depiction of the phrase love makes a person blind.

“Just knock Kara. She’s been antsy all day waiting for you to show up. So please, for me and my sanity, just knock.”

Kara blushed the same pink as her button down all the way up to the tips of her ears, looking down as she shuffled her feet.

“Okay…yeah. I’ve got this right?”

Jess laughed to herself. How had this girl fought aliens and monsters but she couldn’t summon up the courage to knock on a gorgeous woman’s door? She was such a hot gay mess. They both were.

She was honestly glad these two were finally working everything out. Ever since Lena had learned Kara was Supergirl she’s been withdrawn and shut down, leaving her office only to go to and from her lab. Where Jess used to send out for lunch on the days that Kara couldn’t make it to the office she was now basically sending out for expensive bottle service. It had been weeks of this, weeks of Lena circling the drain- clearly hurt and in pain. Weeks of Kara trying to talk to Lena and weeks of Lena refusing the other woman’s calls and visits.

“She won’t see you.” Jess had to say over and over every time Kara tried to get into L-Corp to speak to Lena. “I’m sorry Miss Danvers. She won’t see you.”

“Will you tell her I came by?” Kara frowned and handed Jess a bag of food that Lena would drop in the trash by her desk and never eat.

“Of course, Kara.” Jess nodded and watched the blonde walk away, each time the look of hurt and sorrow seeming to etch into her face deeper than the last.

Despite being one of her employees Lena had always treated Jess like a friend, but she wasn’t Kara. Not by a long shot.

Lena had once told Jess how the two had met. How Lena wasn’t looking for any friends in the city and had emphatically insisted as much when the bubbly blonde came up to her in the café. But something about Kara had broken down Lena’s walls so completely. All of the armor she had wrapped herself in since she was a child to safeguard herself from a family that didn’t want her and world that despised her had slowly been chipped away one lunch date at a time. And suddenly Lena was a part of a family. One of those types of families that was full of people you chose and who chose you back- not the people you were saddled with at birth who tried to kill you on a weekly basis.

She was a part of a friendship she never dreamed she could have, but so incredibly grateful for nonetheless. Kara had become Lena’s lifeline- her tether to humanity and her never ending wellspring of hope. And as a result, she held a special place in Lena’s heart. Even a blind person could see it.

When Kara’s lied had finally come to light Lena’s reaction was swift. The tight control she insisted on holding on every aspect of her life began to crumble around her. To most people who didn’t know her very well the younger Luthor seemed the same- a workaholic who always had everything under control. But Jess had spent enough time around the other woman to see the cracks. She’s spent enough time around her to know that her heart was broken and she was spiraling into a very dark and dangerous place. Jess watched while her boss worked herself to the bone, rarely leaving L-Corp, and capping off her days with too much alcohol in the hopes that she could deaden every emotion she felt.

If Jess had learned anything in the time she’d worked for Lena it was to never lie to the woman. Lena’s entire life had been built upon lies, manipulation, deceit, and betrayal by everyone who was supposed to care for her and keep her safe. A lie, even with the best of intensions, was still a lie- Lena was unable to delineate those lies that were meant to keep her safe and the lies that were designed to keep her ignorant and compliant.

A lie was a lie to Lena Luthor.

Jess wasn’t quite sure what happened between yesterday and today to smooth things over between the two of them, but she definitely wasn’t complaining.

Lena had told her when she arrived this morning that she could allow the reporter in if she were to arrive for any reason. She no longer had to turn her away, no longer had to hurt Kara, and perpetuate Lena’s isolation. Kara showing up with a greasy bag of Big Belly burgers and lunch for Lena was a sight for sore eyes-and very much welcome. And her ability to allow the woman into the building made Jess happier than she’d been in weeks.

“You’ve got this.” Jess gave a reassuring smile to the other woman.

“Okay yeah. Thanks Jess.” Kara nodded to more to herself than the assistant, finally summoning the courage to knock. “You’re right…I can do this.”

Kara raised her hand to knock again finally summoning enough courage to follow through, internally proud of herself that her hand didn’t go right through the expensive mahogany door.

“Come on in Kara.”

“Hey!” Kara poked her head into the room with a slight crinkle in her brow, “how did you know it was me?”

“Would you believe me if I said I’ve created x-ray vision goggles?”

Kara laughed lightly before entering the room completely, shutting the door with a soft click behind her. “With you and your amazing brain I’d completely believe you.”

Lena tried desperately not to beam at the compliment, “well in the interest of honesty I’ll admit that Jess buzzed me a few minutes ago.” Lena gave Kara what was meant to be a very discreet once over, but instead found herself staring in what was possibly the least discreet manner possible.

Was she to blame that Kara had decided to wear form fitting kakis that hugged every delicious curve as if they were tailor made for her? Or that she had decided to wear a button down that perfectly displayed how lean and muscular she was? Lena was simply very much appreciating what was on display.

The question was how long had she been staring? No, the better question was since when was Kara so muscular? Had she always been so muscular and Lena just hadn’t noticed? Wait, how had she not noticed? And how was that shirt holding on for dear life? Was it made of the same material that Kara's suit was made out of......it had to be.

Lena coughed, tearing her eyes away under the pretense of shuffling a few papers around on her desk. Kara was like a black hole- she could stare at her forever and never regret one second of it but would be pulled in all the same. Lena cleared her throat one more time, trying to regain some semblance of her composure. “To what do I owe this pleaser Miss Danvers.”

Oh god Kara almost groaned, there went that perfectly arched brow. That sexy thing that Lena did with her eyebrow that Kara was pretty sure was a conscious choice to weaken Kara’s resolve to have a normal lunch. Those eyebrows could be weaponized. She should tell Alex and the DEO could study Lena’s eyebrows and use them as weapons. Yep, she should do that.

“Um, yeah. I um,” Kara held the bags of food as an explanation of intent since she seemed to be tripping over her words. Kara had learned years ago that speaking around a foot lodged firmly in your mouth is super hard. “I come bearing gifts. Big Belly burgers for me and that awful green stuff you insist on calling food for you.”

Lena’s smile lit up the room this time. She had missed this more than she could say. Being close to Kara on a daily basis and their routine had grounded her- anchored her with a sense of normalcy she’d never had until they’d met. Without it she’d felt directionless and alone. And not the type of alone and isolated she’d felt all of her life. That type of loneliness was a kind she’d always been able to cope with because her life had never been any other way. She’d grown up a Luthor, and that came with a certain level of baggage and angst.

This was a new sort of isolation and loneliness, because now she knew what it felt like to be connected to someone, to have that level of comfort in routine. And to have that connection severed-it had been unbearable. The absence of Kara had been almost deafening. The place where she’d once inhabited Lena’s life, once so vibrant and full, was now just empty and quiet.

“Darling,” Lena got up from her desk to lay a kiss on Kara’s cheek before settling on the couch across the room, “not all of us have a super metabolism that allows us to put down the kind of food you do and still look gorgeous. Some of us have to soldier on and eat green things to maintain some semblance of a figure.”

Kara touched the spot on her cheek where Lena had kissed her with reverence before following the other woman to the couch. “You’ll never look anything short of gorgeous.”

Lena quirked her eyebrow again with a small smile, patting the space besides her. “I think you may be a tad biased.”

“I resent your implications Miss Luthor,” Kara feigned insult, settling next to Lena. Their shoulders brushing against one another gently. “I’ll have you know I’m a reporter, it’s my job to report the facts and nothing but the facts! Without bias.”

Lena stifled a laugh at Kara’s fake umbrage angling her body towards the blonde, “so what are the facts Miss Danvers?”

“Errr,” Kara tripped over her words again. It seemed that her shoe had managed to find her mouth again. Smooth Kara, real smooth.

“Interesting. Tell me more.” Lena shifted to close the small distance between them.

“Well um,” Kara pushed her glasses further up on her nose. A nervous habit she’d picked up over the years.

Lena saw the other woman shift to push her glasses up the bridge of her nose nervously. It was a habit that hadn’t gone unnoticed over the years. Between that and the signature Danvers crinkle, Lena had always prided herself on being able to read Kara’s face fairly well and knowing when something was bothering the younger Danvers sibling.

“Hey,” Lena reached out, gently placing her hand on Kara’s thigh, her thumb unconsciously beginning to rub soothing circles. “Kara. It’s just me. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, I’m not expecting anything but lunch with my best friend. We can go as slow or as fast as you want to. Or not at all. It’s okay.”

Kara took a deep breath, acutely aware of Lena’s hand on her thigh. The skin beneath her hand felt like it was on fire. Nerve endings were alight, dancing their way up and down Kara’s leg ending in heat that pooled low in her groin.

“I’m sorry….” Kara shifted slightly. Why did she wear such tight pants!

“You have nothing to be sorry about Kara.” Lena gave her a reassuring smile. “I’m just happy for your company. I’ve missed this.”

“Me too,” Kara smiled, “I’m just sorry I can’t seem to pry my foot out of my mouth, I think I’m just slightly nervous and a bit overwhelmed? I didn’t expect this…” Kara gestured between them. “Us, almost normal again. Much less…ya know. Everything I’ve ever wanted. I was pretty much set for you to hate me forever and now your hand is on my thigh and you’re super close and you smell amazing and your eyebrows should be weaponized and I’m rambling like an idiot which is pretty normal when I’m around you….”

Lena smiled. It wasn’t that Kara didn’t want what she wanted, which was a huge relief. She was just nervous. Lena would be lying to herself and Kara if she said she wasn’t nervous. She’d been nervous for years to act on her feelings. All of the token, “what if this destroys our friendship?” thoughts swirling around in her head, stopping her from acting on them. But now was the time to be brave.

“Pancakes or waffles?”

“I’m sorry what?” Kara frowned slightly in confusion. To be fair, Lena had just blurted out a random question in the middle of a serious conversation.

“Pancakes or waffles,” Lena repeated herself patiently.

“I mean, both have merits as delicious breakfast food Lena. And you know how much I love food, especially breakfast food. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day you know. Asking me to choose between them is like asking me to choose between puppies and kittens! And it really depends on who’s making them. I mean Alex makes some amazing waffles while Maggie can make a mean blueberry pancake-”

“I mean,” Lena gently slid her hand into Kara’s, effectively silencing the other woman’s ramblings about the merits of breakfast food. Their palms matching up perfectly against one another’s.

“Pancakes. Or,” Lena changed her grip, interlacing their fingers together and giving Kara’s hand a small reassuring squeeze. “Waffles.”

Kara had seen it in so many television shows, literature, and movies since she’d landed on Earth. That picture-perfect depiction of romance, love, and the ever-popular concept soul mates. The idea that you could fall so deeply in love with someone that suddenly you felt whole and complete for the first time in your life- never even knowing that, prior to that moment, you hadn’t been whole without them.

That, somehow, you’d been walking around missing this whole other part of you- lost and now suddenly found. Some described it as this “ah ha” moment, the concept that they knew from the second they laid eye on the person. While others described it as this slow feeling of falling.

For the longest time Kara wasn’t quite sure if she believed in soul mates. That’s not how it was done on Krypton. Babies weren’t born out of love, not born from that “ah ha” moment or that slow feeling of falling. They came from birthing pods and two people who were assigned to one another by a society that calculated the perfect genetic match. She didn’t come from a society that left things to chance or believed in missing puzzle pieces.

The only people from her culture, from her world, that Kara could look to for any sort of reference were Kal’s parents. Kal had been created out of their love- their choices. And while Kara knew her parents had grown to love one another over time, to consider them soul mates felt……disingenuous. Kara had not been born out of love- she’d been, as Alex affectionately called it, a little pod baby.

So, for the longest time. Kara wasn’t quite sure what to make of the Earth concept of soul mates. And if they did exist. Surely, she didn’t have one- after all, she didn’t even belong on this planet. If she did ever have a soul mate they had exploded right along with Krypton and were now part of the cosmos like her parents. Space dust.

And then she’d met Lena Luthor. And she realized someone had kept vital information from her about this whole soul mate business. No one had told Kara that it could be both. Both an “ah ha” moment _and_ this slow feeling of falling so in love with another person that it almost hurt. That every waking moment, and most of her dreams, would be consumed by thoughts of the woman she loved. No one had told her that Lena’s hand in hers would feel so right. Like it was always meant to be there and they simply had to take a longer, more painful, journey than either them would have liked to be here, in this moment, together. That this was her “ah ha” moment and the rest of it had been a slow feeling of falling- it had been both.

No one had told her. But that was okay. Despite the hiccups, she had enjoyed the journey for the most part. Because it had gotten her to where she was now. Sitting here with Lena Luthor’s hand in hers feeling like she was finally whole for the first time in her life.

Lena gave Kara’s hand another reassuring squeeze. “It’s okay Kara, it’s just me. We may have some stuff to work out, but this is us we’re talking about. We can do this at whatever pace you want. I’ll be right here for as long as you’ll have me.”

“Waffles.” Kara raised their hand, fingers still intertwined, to press a kiss to the back of Lena’s hand.

“Definitely waffles.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long and isn't part of the prompts for this month but I'm glad I was able to get it out on halloween!!!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Happy 2020 to everyone! Also, if anyone catches any spelling errors or whatnot, feel free to let me know. I do edit and edit but I'm sure errors slip through (drives me nuts).


End file.
